urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:a_renunciation we try to relax in the places of ghosts; we superimpose, we lean back and with such dim headlights, just fly into the black a natural disaster 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:a_renunciation:240374 a_renunciation @ 2009-10-15T22:11:00 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z What is this?<br /><br />Again: telling myself (unconvincingly) that it's not "him" I miss, but an idea of him that never existed. Wanting new love, having an opportunity for New Love presented to me all wrapped up with my name on it and ready for the taking -- scorning New Love because I've none left to give, emptied of it now having spent it all pining over Old Love. <br />A year and 6 months this Sunday on the black moon. I stopped counting until a couple days ago, when the rains came and stirred everything up again.